Don’t borrow books—build your library instead and take pride in that. It will be an investment that pays off in the long run. If you see anything that remotely interests you, just buy it. If you don’t get to read it immediately and it piles up, that’s ok. It’s part of building your “anti-library,” or the stack of unread books that will humble you and remind you just how much there is still to learn.
I don’t mean to say that kissing a man for the first time was like crossing into Paradise. It wasn’t. But the exertion of kissing a man was, for me, an athletic feat of Olympic proportion. Some gold medalists say that winning is underwhelming.
All that effort, struggle, self-doubt, and overcoming, for this moment, already over.
But in another way, kissing him was a paradise. Or, rather, the paradise was my increased range of physical and emotional motion: the freedom to move my face close to another man’s, to open my lips, to express this kind of tenderness to a man. A piece of armor around my heart clanked to the ground. I had become strong enough to leave it there.