The three points of change in our lives

There are three different points in our lives when big changes occur, and where we are along the spectrum of these points can alter the way we live significantly.

The what was Before; before you turned 31, before you got that job, before you lost her, before you made all the mistakes you made.

The what comes After; you learn from your mistakes, find new purpose, strive to be better than your past self, grow and grow until you reach that light you have been searching for for years.

The In-Between is what gets you every time; where all that was before haunts you, and all that comes After is still in front of you but seemingly out of reach, no matter how many days and weeks pass, you can see the After but cannot grasp it.

You’re stuck in the In-Between. It hurts here, not like Before,  when all that pain and suffering was fresh. No, it hurts like a stubbed toe, the knowing you should have and could have avoided all those mistakes if you had just been better, paid more attention, not been such a klutz, such a failure, but you didn’t and now you’re stuck here, in this place you don’t want to be, with all this regret.

It’s embarrassing, but you’re lost and confused and no matter how much you know that you should walk towards the After you know is right there around the corner, you’re so damn exhausted and the ground looks so soft and inviting that you may as well lie down and rest, you deserve to rest after all because the Before was so bad.

But you don’t deserve it, far from it, and you know it but rest anyway and you hate yourself and are disgusted. And now the In-Between is all there is, it is who you are, just a failure.

Until one day, for no reason you can pinpoint too, or a multitude of reasons, you wake up and realize that Before was just a part of life and you maybe made a lot of mistakes but it isn’t over because After is just right there around that stupid corner.

And there you are. Around the corner, in the After.

Life isn’t perfect here, but there is a sense of possibility, of good things, of hope.

All it took was a bit of time to get here, but you made it.

Congratulations.

Truth telling

How honest are you willing to be?

One of the most painful experiences can be the telling of our truths as we see them.

Whether it’s telling a friend what we really think of their actions, or letting someone know about the bad things we did, telling the truth can be  amazingly uncomfortable.

But it can also be one of the most liberating moments as well.

Being honest about who we are, what we have done and what we think of others and the world can help you to develop your subconscious mind in a myriad of ways.

We hold things back from others starting at such an early age that it becomes routine to lie and lie some more, and this can chip away slowly at your soul.

Just letting go of those lies and being truthful in your life can alter so many things.

But you just need to take the leap and make that simple choice to be honest.

Truth can set you free.

Stand strong and get it done

Sometimes you just need to stop asking questions and take a leap of faith.

Knowing that something is the right thing to do for yourself or others is impossible.

No matter how much proof we have, there is always the chance that the choice you make is not the right one, that it leads to unforeseen and possibly disastrous consequences.

But at the end of the day, you have to make the choice to just put one foot forward and see what happens. The most important part is being adaptable, paying careful attention and adjusting as you go along.

But you do need to stand for something eventually, regardless of how open minded you focus on being, no matter how much you shift opinions and change, there is a core of values and ways of being that eventually will settle deep inside you, and the worst thing you can do is not stand by them, allow weakness and fear to overwhelm you.

Whether it is in your day to day way of living in relation to others, the morals you espouse, or the lifestyle and way of training that you believe in, at some point you need to put your flag down and say this is who I am and what I stand for. With the caveat that you are a flawed human being and reserve the right to evolve and change your ideas as you progress on your journey.

Stand strong, get shit done, live your values and grow day by day.