Little Joys Ch.41

This post is part of an ongoing challenge to share a little joy I have found each day of this year, and perhaps for the rest of my life. I hope you enjoy it!

February 10th, 2020

Sometimes we need to make the choice between something that feels safe, and something that we feel we need to do to be happy. Quitting that job that gives you financial stability, ending that relationship, turning away from a bad group of friends.

Happiness is not, and never will be, or should be, a permanent state. We are all in a constant flux, shifting from one emotion to the next. It is the reality of life, as we react and perceive the world and others around us we feel differently. It is what makes us human, and it is the choices we make in each moment that allow us to feel the full spectrum of emotions and experience life as it happens.

That being said, there are certain things we do, certain people we spend time with, who tend to put us into a more negative state, and it is up to us to make the choice to move away from those things, even if they made us feel a certain sense of stability, so that we can aim towards a path that can help us, if not be happy all the time, at least lean us more towards that state of being, so that we can hit those high notes, find those little joys more often, instead of missing out on them because that person or place is creating too much noise and drowning out the good moments.

Remember to always be honest about your situation in life, and make the choice that you genuinely feel is healthiest for you, even if its much more difficult in the moment. Safety and comfort are generally not the best path, even though our brains trick us into thinking so.

Open mind, strong heart, keep moving forward folks.


Little Joys Ch.4

As part of an ongoing challenge to myself, I will be sharing a little joy I have found each day of this year and perhaps for the rest of my life. Hope you enjoy!

There is a moment when you fall deeply into someones trust that cannot be compared to.

In that moment your barriers fall away, and they help you to express emotions and ways of thinking that you have held inside without even realizing it.

These are the times when we grow as a person, when we take a step forward in our understanding of ourselves, and the beauty of it is that simultaneously our connection with another deepens as well as they come to understand us more.

It is quite a joyful thing, to grow with another, intertwined just like the roots of a tree.

The toxicity of gaming culture

Many people will think this post is some man hating rant about how male toxicity is ruining the gaming industry. This simplistic idea is shared by a bunch of people who don’t understand biology nor how our environment affects us.

Take a human being, someone who is already introverted and shy, stick them in a room alone, barely interacting with other humans face to face, not learning proper social cues and emotional control, make them play something aggressive with other people who they cannot see or hear or touch, and we wonder why gamers can be assholes.

Twitter, facebook and instagram are another perfect example of what happens when you remove people socializing face to face, let them remain relatively ambiguous and free from consequences, and the shit will fly.

There are aspects of male biology that make men fall into this trap more often, higher testosterone levels can really play havoc on aggression, especially considering many gamers are young teens who are already have very little control of their emotions.

But it has nothing to do with male toxicity, and everything to do with the toxicity of online gaming culture. In the same way that the toxicity on social media has to do with its culture.

Social interaction online can be a great thing, people can connect from all around the world. But we have to be realistic about the fact that most humans in the world get zero training on how to take care of themselves emotionally, physically and intellectually. They sit around in front of screens banging away, feeling like shit, cut off from the real world, and it all goes to hell.

Gaming in and of itself is great, regardless of the type of game. What we need is a paradigm shift in how we raise our children, we need to focus less on math skills and more on life skills.

We need to teach ourselves how to behave, with empathy, with courage and most especially with a higher level of understanding of how our brains are primitive and need our higher consciousness to rein them in constantly.

This takes training, lots of it.

Let’s begin, shall we?

Learning to control fear

Fear, like most Human emotions, can be a useful tool for guiding us through the chaos that is life on this pale blue dot we call Earth.  But like most things, too much of something, especially when it is misunderstood to the degree that fear is, can be debilitating to our ability to function well.

Fear is our bodies way of warning us that something may cause us harm. This is good when a lion is chasing us, but not so useful when all that we are doing is going in for a job interview or attempting to walk up to a girl and say hi.

The brain cannot tell the difference between the two, and that is something that only the conscious parts of us can work through and teach ourselves to overcome.

And make no mistake, most of the things we are afraid of in this day and age are not worth worrying about. You might keep a wary eye on some things, but mostly you should just inform your fear that it’s okay, this is just something you have to do to push yourselves forward in life and that, no, you are not going to die from saying hello to the cute boy at the cafe.

Unless he’s a crazy psychopath.

Or maybe you are and he should be afraid.

Life is so exciting, isn’t it?